


Cookie Run: The Spice Files: Bittersweet

by shrimpfriendly



Series: Cookie Run: The Spice Files trilogy [1]
Category: Cookie Run
Genre: Darkness, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Other, battles, maybe sex?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:20:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28657863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrimpfriendly/pseuds/shrimpfriendly
Summary: The thrilling sequel to the Spice Files is here! Now we know what happened to Salt after Spice Files 1!!!
Relationships: Pirate Cookie/Salt Cookie (Cookie Run)
Series: Cookie Run: The Spice Files trilogy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100243
Kudos: 2





	1. Past

5 years ago... 6 years before the Cult was defeated... there lived a boat out in the docks of Cream Horn City, the sun was rising which woke the hero of this story up, Salt Cookie. 

Salt sat up in his bed dizzy, and then he got up to do his morning routine, 50 sit-ups and 20 push-ups, he’s old but he sure is buff. 

“Another day. another kick in the shin.” Salt said, tired. “Hope I don’t get killed by another shark. Second one this week dammit.” 

He headed out to get some breakfast, he saw Jujube. 

“Hello Salt.” Jujube said. “How have you been?” 

“Hey.” Salt said back. “I’m barely making it. It’s been a long stressful week.” 

Then, arriving at the docks was a sturdy looking man with a peg leg, it was Pirate Cookie, of course it was Pirate. 

“I’m back mateys!” Pirate said as he jumped out of his ship into Salt’s arms. 

“Get off of me.” Salt said, as Pirate looked at his attire. 

“Why do ye wear no shirt?” Pirate asked. “Are you balding in your chest and you have to expose it?” 

“No. I have to because I have to.” Salt fought back. “I got shit to do tonight, like finding the Kingfi-“ 

“Oh come on!” Pirate spit back. “All ye ever do is talk about that stupid fish! Let’s have some fun tonight~” 

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that, I will fuckin kill you.” Salt said, he hated it when Pirate started getting all sensual, it felt like he was flirting at Salt but at the same time mocking him. Jujube was kinda getting in on it too. 

“Maybe we could invite Pilot as well-“ 

“He’s busy.” Salt said. “Busy traveling the world with his airplane.” 

And then, hours later, night fell. 

The boys then went to the club, the Sparkling Jizz club, it was full of strobe lights and hot girls dancing, the boys looked hot, and had their tips ready to get some sweet stuff.

“Drinks are on me!” Jujube said. “Come on, let’s get some jank on!” 

“These lasses are gonna get wet all over me!” Pirate laughed, really wanting some ladies all over him and his friends, they all had a smirk on their faces and mischievously laughed, they knew what they’re going to do.

And that’s what they did, girls were SWOONING over them, and constant phrases of “oh you like that? Yeah you do~” and “you want some?~” we’re thrown all over the place, there was also dancing, and drinks galore, until they got drunk, Salt and friends went home drunk, to the point that they closed the bar for the night. 

“Mmmughhh... Salt...” Pirate said, drunk. “I have feelings for you....” 

“You rrrrumcake.... ghhhhh” Salt replied back feeling that feeling as well so they headed back to Salt’s shack to make out and have some wild times. 

“Aaah~~” Salt moaned. “Rumcaaaaaake~~~~” 

“That’s not my name.” Pirate said, more drunk. “Ye gonna call me CAPTAIN, BITCH!” 

Pirate grabbed Salt’s dick and gave it a hand, literally, jerked it while kissing him, after 5 minutes of this or so, he cums and passes out, good lord what a night they had, he didn’t really get to fish today, but no worries, tomorrow he will. 


	2. Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pirate and Salt are now on his pirate ship together lmao

Black 

Now in the present, Pirate has allowed Salt onto his ship, despite having not the slightest affection for eachother, they’re on the Black Sugar Skull, a beauty to behold. 

“A hook cabinet?” Salt asked. 

“Ye! That’s where I keep me hooks!” Pirate said. “I even have a fake hand hook! For high fives on me hook hand of course. Because Yknow.... who wants to get stabbed in the hand by my regular hook?” 

Salt’s boat was towed along with Pirate’s boat, despite an argument that they had, they’re now on the boat together. 

“Sup bitchbag!” A small cookie said to Salt. 

“Who are you?” He said back. 

“Me? Oh I’m Sorbet Shark Cookie! You can call me Sorbet Shark!” They chirped back, cheerfully. “Would you like some turkey from last night?” 

“Yeah, don’t worry about him.” Pirate said. “He’s uh... a crewmate I acquired...”

“I saved him from drowning!” Sorbet Shark said. “And then this bitch taught me how to speak English and now I can swear, bitch!” 

“That’s me boy!” Pirate chuckled. 

As the day continued and as Pirate hanged around, night fell, and Pirate was sitting on the edge of the docks, so much for 5 years of being away... the Tower of Frozen Waves left him on a giant adventure and he has noticed that it’s been a year since he saw Captain Ice, he grew more attached to Pirate, he wasn’t into Captain Ice, he really liked Salt, but really didn’t have the guts to say it, then, Salt came out on the docks to sit with him and maybe converse. 

They haven’t talked in ages, so starting up a conversation was awkward, and they had to think of something quick before they were obsolete. 

“So, where did you get tat jacket?” Pirate asked, finally speaking up. 

“I found it one day and I was like ‘hmmm I’m gonna wear it’ and that’s what happened.” Salt replied. “I’ve realized I’m getting older, so I’m working out, hence why I barely wear shirts anymore.” 

“And that’s why you wear no shirts nowadays?” 

“I guess.” 

The two chuckled, they were slowly starting to get along, and maybe friendship was possible after all, but then, they started to fall asleep. 

A distant memory. 

Oh man. 

A distant memory Salt remembered was him talking to Pirate, and then Captain Ice would tease him. 

It was such a long time ago. 

Long before finding the tower, Salt and Captain Ice were husband and wife, they loved eachother so much, but Captain Ice... she was so manipulative to him. If Salt didn’t obey her orders, there would be punishment. And there was. 

There was a room to where they would sleep, Captain Ice would tease Salt’s cock like rubbing alcohol on an open wound, and every time Captain Ice messes with it, he would  moan. 

“Aaaaah... Captain.” He would always moan out. 

“Quit your crying,  _ sailor _ .” Captain Ice would always say. “Now, who’s the captain?~” 

Salt’s cock would be slapped if he said the wrong answer, but this time, he said “you are...” and let out a moan, as a reward, Captain Ice sucked his cock until he came, and usually when she felt like it, she would let him fuck her ass.

“Aaaaah~~ Salt~~” Captain Ice would moan as he would fuck her ass, usually sometimes as a bait and switch, she would top him, observantly focusing on trying to make them cum. 

“You taste sweet... not bad for a salty dessert~” 

Nobody will ever know the story of how they got married, but how they separated was truly a gruesome time, they fought over who would get a treasure in a lonesome area full of it, and then they fought like herds of cattle, and then Salt fell off the ship as Captain Ice shouted: “I never loved you anyways!” Meaning that she used him. And that was the day he met Life Saver, well Life Saver saved him and they soon became friends, the rest is history from here. 

That kept him awake for hours and at 6am the next morning, there was pain. 

Not pain from Captain Ice. 

Back pain. 

He moaned in pain, Pirate took a notice to it, he didn’t know what to do at all, sure he has back problems, but not as bad as Salt’s. 

“Are ye okay?” Pirate asked. 

“No.” Salt replied, and then groaned in pain once more, it really hurt. 

“Sorbet matey!” Pirate yelled. “Get some lotion! Man overboarding!” 

“Aw shit! Gotta find the lotion!! oooOooOo0oo!!” Sorbet yelled, looking for the lotion, he tossed it and put it on Salt’s back, it felt good, until he realized something. 

“Hey matey.”

“Yeah?”

“That’s lube.” 

“FUCK” 

“It doesn’t matter.” Salt said. “It’s feeling better thanks to it. Man, I need a nap... I didn’t get a good sleep last night.” 

Pirate thought for a minute, his might be friend but also rival was hurt and needed comfort, he wanted to leave him so badly, but he was hurt, but then he remembered he had vocal cords, durr, everyone has vocal cords he thought, look at fucking Cake Pops and Shining Glitter, their pop stars, but he ain’t no pop star, so he attempted to sing, it wasn’t very good in his opinion, but it was actually good, god damn, sleep felt like a blink away for Salt, this was somewhat paradise. 

“The sun will rise any minute!” Sorbet yelled, he counted down the seconds of when the sun will rise and up it rose, Salt was passed out, it was great for Pirate, because while he was asleep, he could go and the ship could go find treasure. 

But around the ship was something strange, a beam of light. 

Moonlight Cookie. 

“Rum...” Moonlight calmly said. “You’re doing good to this poor man, aren’t you?” 

“Erm... yea..” Pirate said. “What are ye gonna do? Magic on me to keep him near me by me side?” 

“No.” Moonlight said. “What I mean is try to be gentle to him, okay? He’s been hurt recently and I want him to be safe.” 

“I will try me best to.” Pirate said. “After all, I kind of want to fall in love with him and commit a severe lovefest with him.” 

“The time will come.” Moonlight said. “Not now.” 

She left in a few, leaving Pirate and a floating sleeping Salt woken up by falling, they looked at eachother and screamed, Sorbet however wanted to be funny. 

“Happy Columbus Day, fuckers!”


	3. Weak dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pirate has lewd thoughts of someone

Pirate’s thoughts were running amuck last night, he was continuously thinking about Salt, he was such a good person, his cock was enormous, and he was quite a hunk, perfect for someone like Pirate. 

As soon as everyone was asleep, that night, Pirate creeped over into the restroom to find that his dick was rock hard, like springing up rock hard. 

“Geead dammit.” Pirate swore, his dick was a good sized one, not bad for a penis, it wasn’t as big as Salt’s but it was close. 

Realizing that everyone was asleep, Pirate went slow on his dick, heavily breathing and beating his big thing of meat he was packing. 

“Ghhhh Salt~~” Pirate whispered to himself. “His dick is so huuuuuge.” 

He beat it some more, the moaning wasnt quiet but was quiet enough to where Salt couldn’t hear. 

“Noooobody will know I’m jerking off to him.” Pirate said, alone. “Nooooo one will.” 

Shivers went up his spine, he was worried someone would find him masturbating to someone like Salt but it wasn’t bothering him too much so he kept going until he came, then he opened the door and lo to his surprise. 

Someone was waiting for him to get out, but it was not Salt, it was someone else. 

“Hey, I remember ye a little.” Pirate said. “Yer... a general arent you?” 

“Yes. I’m retired though.” Jujube said. “How have you been doing?” 

“I’ve been doing better.” Pirate replied. “Been thinking about someone, been also looking for some crazy treasure at ta bottom of ta sea, but only one who has a key can access it so I’m getting me friend Salt ta do it.” 

“What is this mysterious thing called?” Jujube asked. 

“The Quadent of the Artemisinin.” Pirate said. “It be a treasure I want myself so I can have control over ta entire ocean!” 

“Isn’t that thing lost?” Jujube asked. “I remember legends being thrown around about it. But I haven’t heard of it existence.” 

Later that day, Salt and Pirate recoiled back to Pirate’s ship, to discuss about the deal. 

“How about this.” Pirate said. “We go on a sailing adventure to what I need and then, I’ll give you whatever you want, is that okay?” 

“Sure.” Salt replied. “Don’t go too crazy though. Anything to get my friend back....” 

“You miss yer friend don’t ya?” Pirate asked. “We’ll think of it as like a road trip! We’ll meet new friends along ta way!” 

Salt sighed. “What’s our first stop?” 

“Yogurca!” 

And the sails were hoisted. 

Meanwhile, Jujube was setting up a boat on the beach, he too wanted to go. 

“This better be no bait.” Jujube said, just as he was sailing out to sea, he spotted a yacht, ew, rich people he thought, the person on the yacht however saw him, it was Cheesecake Cookie. 

“Hello there~” Cheesecake said. “What have you been up to?” 

“Have you no perseverance?” Jujube questioned. “You’re quite fancy madam. I’m trying to find a treasure. My interest was caught about it. And you?” 

“Oh me?” Cheesecake said. “I’m just sailing out here with my yacht. The ocean is very nice, I would love to have anything shiny, and this treasure you speak of... sounds nice.”

Cheesecake let Jujube on the yacht, she was going to have a party with all of the richest cookies in the world on it, it was going to be wild. And finding that treasure was going to be it. 

“I will find you Pirate.” Jujube thought to himself. 


	4. Greek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salt and Pirate arrive in Yogurca

Going to Yogurca was longer than they thought, Pirate and Sorbet Shark were tired from singing all of the sea shanties they knew so it led to Salt steering Pirate’s gigantic ship. 

“This is hard to steer.” Salt said. 

“Aye!” Pirate said. “It takes years to practice tat steering of the captain’s ship. Tis be mine!” 

“CAPTAIN!!!! CAPTAAAAAAIN!!!” Sorbet yelled. “I SPY LAND!! YAHOOO!!!!” 

Yogurca? It was there, he recognized that castle. 

It was Yogurca. 

“SHIVER ME TIMBERS!” Pirate exclaimed. “YOGURCA! We have found it! Khahaha!!!” 

Yogurca was home to the owner of the riches treasures, Yogurt Cream, he loved treasure, and had long hair and silent servant, Lilac.

Getting to the docks were easy, HOWEVER... 

Yogurca had a vibrant marketplace, but no one in Yogurca didn’t really like foreigners, because of thieves and weird people, but Salt didn’t care, he wanted shit done. 

They enter the marketplace towards the castle, downtown was vibrant, there were sellers everywhere of fruit and beautiful looking antiques, Sorbet thought it was all beautiful, but then he tried grabbing something and everyone noticed the foreigners.

Staring at them widely, the three were dumbfounded, wanting to find ways to escape. 

“I gotta have a good meal, bitchbag!” Sorbet yelled causing a fight. 

They wanted to run away from such things, but nope, Salt wanted to fight them off, causing some damage, until Yogurt Cream came. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Yogurt Cream said looking kingly, he then noticed Pirate. “Hello Pirate.” 

“Ya, hey.” Pirate said to Yogurt Cream. “I be looking for treasure yet again and I need help!”

“Come, Pirate, and your peasant friends can come too.” 

Sorbet got a little raged. “HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLIN A PESANT YA BIG PURPLE BI-“ 

“Sorbet please calm down.” Salt said. “Some people are like that.” 

As the day progressed in Yogurca, they hung around, until Salt spoke up. 

“Pirate, you said you’re here for something.” Salt said. “Was it a map?” 

“Yeah.” Pirate said. “I will tell you something, I need this thing called the Quadent of Artemisinin, I need it so I can rule the seas and get away from the Dark Enchantress and maybe defeat her, I can’t have it because apparently I’m not a ‘chosen one’, you’re me only hope, Salt.” 

“That’s why you made that deal?” Salt said. “For me to numb her while you looked for a trident with an extra pointy thing?” 

“No, it’s not-“ Pirate got all blushy, they were having a conversation, finally. “It’s a pointy thing that is powerful! Ya gotta understand!” 

“Is that all it is?” Salt got a smirk on his face, leaning Pirate against the wall of the treasure room of Yogurt Cream’s castle, it didn’t take long for Salt to notice what he was doing as he leaned away from Pirate, they had to get that map. 

“Aye! Yogurt Cream!” Pirate yelled. “I need a map for some treasure! A treasure ye don’t have!” 

“Don’t insult me on how many treasures I have.” Yogurt Cream snapped. “For I am far more richer than you and inherited all of these things from my ancestors!”

“I be looking for the Quadent of Artemisinin!” 

“I have that map actually! It’s very old though.” Yogurt Cream said, finding it already, it was in the map room, an area full of maps Yogurt’s ancestors had while traveling, and then they found it. 

The map to find the Quadent of Artemisinin. 

“It’s underneath the ocean.” Yogurt Cream said and then they headed out. 

A lurking shadow was lurking in the castle, Yogurt Cream was minding his business and headed out to his pool, and then as he was about to head in, he heard a quiet laugh, as soon as he heard it. 

He was groped and grabbed by the Dark Enchantress 

“You gave them the coordinates didn’t you?!” She said. 

“Please let go of me... LILAC HELP ME!” Yogurt Cream yelled, The darkness was tied up against him like tentacles, as Lilac appeared, the Dark Enchantress fought them, but it was too late. 

His essence was release out of him leaving him passed out. 

“I will find you Pirate Cookie.” The Dark Enchantress said. “Come Pomegranate, we will have our revenge on him and Moonlight in no time.” 

“Yes Master!” Pomegranate said. “I will worship you forever til the very end of time! Long live the darkness!” 

As the two left, Lilac, worried about Yogurt Cream took him to his bed, finally speaking a word after so long. 

“Everything will be okay sir, I hope you’re safe.” 


	5. Stalk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where da big huge sex comes in lmao

The thoughts of Salt’s old friend, Pilot, lingered. Oh how Salt missed him so much, the past was the past but it all happened in the past. 

When the cult swept through town, poor old Pilot’s life was taken by it, there was no end to it. 

“Pilot, you don’t have to do this.” Salt said to him that very night he got killed. “There are people who love you and respect you as a person!” 

“If only you recognized their achievements!” Pilot yelled out to him, for the cultist in him was chanting for his rights. “Long live it! I believe it! I would do anything for it!” 

And then, like that, Pilot crumbled and died that night, he was a brave soul and traveled the world but not even a cult his gullibleness could save him, he cried for hours that night, the only slightly good thing about that night was messing with some cup and it made music notes. 

Maybe Salt needed Pirate after all. 

Pirate was out in the front of the ship at night, oh how Pirate hated sailing, he had always hated it and it’s probably why he has an eyepatch, Salt joined him at gazing at the very front of the ship. 

“Ye seem down.” Pirate said to Salt. 

“Yeah I am. I miss Pilot.” 

“Wasnt ye and Pilot best friends?” 

“Yeah. He’s dead now.” 

The thought of them kissing was so large, but they had to confess first, so Pirate made the first move. 

“Salt, matey.” Pirate muttered. 

“Yeah?” 

Pirate was so close to him, and so was Salt, they were in love so much and they probably now knew it. 

“I love you.” Pirate was into it, his hug was tight on Salt, and he got his cheek kissed, which made Salt snap and realize he too was in love. 

“I love you too.” 

He kissed Pirate in a extremely long first kiss, it only took them so long, it only made them want more. 

They went into Pirate’s cabin, Sorbet had his own cabin on the ship but only Sorbet knew where it was, Salt and Pirate were kissing, groping eachother’s back, and probably taking off their clothes, the feeling in them burned, so much that Pirate got hard, Salt did as well. 

“F-f-fuck me.” Pirate whispered to Salt, finally it meant something, sex for once finally meant something, and once Salt put his cock inside Pirate, he moaned. 

Salt began going slow on him, quite a slow burn to him to say the least, Pirate’s moans clash against Salt’s heavy breathing, which were hot also, Salt wasn’t a spicy Cookie but he sure were good looking hot. 

“More.” Pirate said. “I want more.” 

“Okay you fucking mermaid.” 

Salt began to thrust faster, making Pirate’s moans louder and him yelling words or two. 

“Ohhhh you like that? You really like that.” Salt asked Pirate this and felt like coming for him. 

“Fuckin plunder my seas, I can’t take it anymore.” 

Friendship was achievable, but sex? This felt like a damn good reward, Pirate began to cum along with Salt for which they both moaned, Salt looked at him as his orgasm was eased a little it was only a matter of time before they were to make out again. 

“That was brilliant wasn’t it?” Salt asked. 

“Yes it was.” Pirate replied, laying on the bed holding Salt close to him, but Salt’s cock was still hard as fuck. 

“Can I cum now?” Salt said seductive. 

“Ye.” Pirate replied. “In my mouth.”

The next morning came, and hours later they were asleep but didn’t realize it. 

“Guys wake up.” Sorbet shark said. “I think we’re at our destination!” 

“Wha?” 

They were in a glistening tunnel above the sea filled with pretty gems and whatever else, it was all so pretty. 

“Salt.” Pirate said. “Put ye pants on, we’re here.”


	6. Soldier Poet King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The soldier became a poet which became a king  
> Hey stop referencing things

At the middle of the tunnel was an entrance, an entrance to the bottom of the ocean, it was sort of a ramp, but it wasn’t that steep. 

“This is giving me flashbacks to ta tower of Frozen Waves.” Pirate said, reminded. “But with more cave and sea shells!” 

They saw writings on the walls of the caves in a different language, Salt was amazed, and can somehow read it. 

“When you pick It up you will find great measures with It.” Salt read. “For the power of seas will be yours, and the Dark will be no more.” 

As they walked, more and more writings came up on the walls. 

“How can he read these?” Sorbet thought. “Has he been studying them???” 

“Nah, I bet he’ll stump.” Pirate said. “Besides it probably will be a long walk down here-“ 

Over in the distance was a shadow. 

“YOU!” it cried out. “THERE YOU ARE PIRATE COOKIE!” 

Pirate yelped, it was General Jujube and an unexpected guest. 

“Hello boys~~~” Cheesecake was there too, greeting them. 

“Oh great, we got a land general AND a rich bitch!” Sorbet said. “Isnt that fuckin brilliant? YOU BITCHBAGS AINT TAKIN MY MONEY!” 

Cheesecake looked very pleasured as Jujube held her, she then got all goo goo eyed on him. 

“Why don’t you be a big, strong man and carry me down these steps?~” 

Jujube however carried her down the stairs. 

“I heard you on the news ponytail man.” Cheesecake said. “You finally made it able to go out in public without flyers of a cult! I’m proud of you!” 

As she said that she saw a spider and screamed. 

“AAAAAAAH! SPIDERS!!!!” 

“Of course there’s spiders down here it’s a cave!” 

Jujube pulled out his staff and Pirate pulled out his spare sword he got one time. 

“I know what the poem says.” Pirate said. 

“When you have a sword right from ye back; go on forward and fucking ATTACK!” 

Pirate stabbed the spider with the sword killing it, grossing out Cheesecake, Sorbet was impressed with his rhyming. 

“I did not know you can set off loose! But I can’t stop staring at Cheesecake’s caboose!” 

“STOP STARING AT MY BUTT!” Cheesecake yelled. “Let’s keep going, your child is being a creep.” 

The stairs were terribly long, but the bottom of the ocean was kinda long down a winding ramp, it got darker, people were tired, they tried sleeping but they kept going, there was no giving up, But then something was grabbing a hold of Pirate. 

“Huh?” Pirate’s voice was tired, he didn’t want to deal of what was happening to him at the moment but it was happening. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this a while.” 

Red light was flashing around him, it was her, the Dark Enchantress.

Dammit, they found him and Sorbet Shark. 

“Dawww man! And I was looking at a very attractive woman!” 

“Whatever.” Dark Enchantress said. “You’re coming with us to the darkest of realms.” 

Salt noticed this immediately after Pirate said something. 

“You! Weren’t you dead?” 

“Dead?” Dark Enchantress asked. “Darkness never dies!” 

“Ye stole that from me!” Pirate yelled as they were transported to the depths of the darkness. 

“I gotta grab the Quadent now!” Salt yelled, but the stairs were getting more steep and Salt fell down them, not really hurting anything. 

“Are you okay?” Cheesecake asked. “I don’t like it here I’m going to call the ambulance...” 

“We can’t.” Jujube said. “It’s too steep. Plus getting back up is going to be hard.” 

“You’re a big strong man, you can carry me up these steps sweetie~~” Cheesecake bit back, “carry me up these steps or I’ll sit on you!” 

As Salt entered the area of where the Quadent was, his ancestry was coming back to him. 

Back on the mountain of pink salt, there was a village who had fabled of his ancestors of Artemisinin, for thus as the mountain kept falling in the Black Storm, its power of Artemisinin kept growing, and thus, is why he is the one to hold it. 

He saw the Quadent and grabbed a hold of it, harnessing a strange feeling of his hand trembling. 

“Salt...” a voice called. “I knew you had it in you....” it was so god like that water surrounded Salt and turned him into a god like figure, confused, and determined at the same time he bursted out of the cave with water flooding it making the Black Sugar and Cheesecake’s yacht near it shake which also made Jujube and Cheesecake fall onto eachother while on the yacht, The two looked at eachother and kissed eachother tongue first. 

“Fuck my ass~~~ mmmmmm~~~” Cheesecake moaned. 

Meanwhile, Sorbet was somehow back onto the Black Sugar, meaning he escaped the Dark Enchantress’s clutches. 

“Ah.. poor ol me...” Sorbet said. “I can’t believe I had to be all cute to that bitchbag into setting me free! If only if I had revenge on that homestuck lookin ass-“ 

Sorbet looked up and saw Salt in his god like form with the Quadent. 

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT ON THE MILLENNIAL TREE!” Sorbet yelled. “What happened to you?!” 

“I got the Quadent, just how Pirate wanted.” Salt replied, looking very god like with his hair being made of blue sea salted water and everything else looking golden, Salt got the waters near the Black Sugar and sailed it like that. 

“Well count me in!” Sorbet yelled. “EEEYAAAAAAAAH!”


	7. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the epic final chapter to this epic journey   
> Also we’ll never find out what happened to Yogurt Cream   
> Maybe another time

**_ “Stay wild, moon child.” _ **

Pirate was in chains, deep in the dark area of the Dark Enchantress’s dungeon, it was quite a scary sight tho him, he never thought he’d end up here. 

“Rum.” 

His life felt like it was going to end, but he kept his head up a little. 

“Pirates never die” was his phrase for life, but it felt that he was going to die, but the Dark Enchantress didn’t care, all she wanted was all heroes of light and all related affiliates gone. 

“I will have you down.” The Dark Enchantress said. “Moonlight, everyone. And you’re one of them. You will be gone. No more light, only darkness.” 

The veins in his body were running through him like the waves, his rage was increasing, everything he ever knew about him was coming to him full circle. 

“Pirates.....” 

The chains that were set up around him broke and shattered everywhere, Pirate was really mad now. 

“PIRATES NEVER DIE AND NEVER WILL DIE!”

Pirate stormed out of the dungeon free, picking up a sword he had found fighting all of her minions in sight, He struck with vengeance at everyone around him, he screamed Salt’s name worried about him, he wanted him, he missed him, then, he saw a dark shadow approach him. 

“Salt?” 

It was not Salt, it was captain Ice. 

“Rum... you’ve caused nothing but destruction around me.” Captain Ice said. “We may have flown under the same colors but I will never forgive you of what you did.” 

“I will never come back to the darkness...” Pirate said. “It’s destroyed me and broke me and half... I’ve died too many times, I don’t want to die again.” 

“Very well...” Captain Ice said which did not appear to be Captain Ice, a very dark cackle filled the room, it was the Dark Enchantress. 

“You can never escape me Rum...” she said tying Pirate up in dark vines gripping him with force. “If I can’t make you new again... I guess I will have to break you. Piece by piece.” 

Pirate screamed in agony, about to burst into tears even, it was painful to witness. Then, a beacon of light appeared. 

Could it be Sorbet Shark? 

“SUP BITCHBAGS!” He yelled. “Fuck your dark shit! For I am a hero now!!! I even upgraded your ship Pirate and-“ 

Salt was in complete anger against the Dark Enchantress, she was hurting Pirate as he screamed out in pain. 

“SALT!!!!!!! FUCK-“ 

Salt got mad mad, he didn’t want Pirate to die, neither did Sorbet Shark but he kept his smugness to a tee, and then with a strike of light, Salt began to transform. 

“Pierce the oceans with your binding light...” Salt began. “AND CURE IT WITH ALL MY MIGHT!” 

The ocean surrounded Salt, he was really trying this time. 

“Simple enough for endless flight... FOR ARTEMISININ AND ALL OF MY MIGHT!!!” 

He struck like the whole ocean at the dark enchantress, it was all working until her second form. 

“YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME...!.!.!.!!”

Darkness gushed from the Dark Enchantress Cookie in every way possible, it hurt but to her it was worth every second. 

“YOU CAN NEVER STOP THE DARKNESS!!!!.!!!!!” She screamed. “FOR I AM THE DARKNESS!!!!! I WILL ALWAYS BE THE DARKNESS!!!!” 

Salt got more powerful as well, and struck her second form and defeated her. 

Pirate collapsed, for he fainted, Salt regaining cookie form again took him back to the Black Sugar. 

“Sorbet.” Salt said. “Go get some water.” 

“Aight. But I don’t want to be a shark again...” 

“Why?” 

“Because I’ll forget how to speak again... it happens every time I get into the water... It’s a curse I have..” 

Salt looked at him with sincere in his eyes, it might’ve been fate that this would’ve happen, so to make things better, Salt got the water himself, Sorbet however dropped it onto Pirate and began to cough and woke up. 

“S-Salt? Matey?” 

“Hey pops!” Sorbet Shark chirped happily.

“IT REALLY IS YE GUYS!” 

Later that night they had a grand dinner of fish and drinks, which felt relieving to say the least they also partied down while heading back to Cream Horn City to drop Salt off at his house, Pirate however didn’t want to leave him. 

“Can I... can I stay?” Pirate asked as he held onto Salt tightly. 

“Well, sure, if you plan to keep the place clean.” Salt answered as he fist bumped Pirate. “Don’t tell Captain Ice I have you here though.” 

“That’s alright! We can try to take apart me ship to make it a home for us-“ 

“Isn’t that your pride and joy though?” 

Pirate realized. “Aye, ye right, perhaps I should start cleaning me self up.” 

Pirate chuckled along with Sorbet. 

“Awwww shit!” Sorbet said. “I can make friends here!” 

“You can try to.” Salt said. “Just don’t commit to anything bad, okay?” 

“Oki-dokie, bitchbag! Let’s get rolling!”


End file.
